monday, i went to "study" with my p school best friend LEE QIAN YING hahahah, dont know if you can see this but i kinda got a shock when i saw you cause the last time i saw you was probably in sec two, you've changed!!!! okay but not in a bad way or anything, and im glad you (as a person) very much stayed the same. maybe less retarded than in p school hahaha. i still recall how both of us were busy copying idioms from lichen's idiom book during recess a few days before PSLE, and i think none of the idioms even came out, haha. anyway, we caught a (weird) movie which no one has probably even heard of, lol but it was fun screaming & laughing. its a horror show though fyi just entertainment, but it still creeps me out at night cause im very very loserly timid aha.
tuesday, school for prac then RP for blocking and rehearsal. the process kinda sucked cause there were alot of waiting and waiting but in the end it turned out okay, AND IM SO GLAD WE GOT THAT FEELING BACK. for JOURNEY. haven felt it in like.. one year or something since syf or dance night with the seniors. but yesterday full dress, it was good. it was emo. nowhere near the standard of syf's, but much much better :) seriouslyyyyy to hear cheers/applause DURING the dance like all the stunts and ladder parts is very cool hahaha. suddenly reminded of how my classmates were telling me that Journey's one of the best items for last year's dance night and how they can still remember it, calling it the "umbrella" or "ladder" dance or sth :D OH THE STAGE ROCKS ITS VERY BIG AND WIDE AND DEEP (-.-) AND IT HAS FANTASTIC LIGHTS AND LCD (sp?) SCREENS WE ALL THINK ITS VERY COOL. for the full dress we got to see the rest of the items by other schools, think its very good exposure to watch them. hiphop modern fusion malay indian social dances, alot alot, i loved NUS DANCE ENSEMBLE's ..turning dance that guy is very cool :D and the only other jc performing other than us is sajc and dan said dont make him lose face haha.
OH shah's performing too in the RP indian cultural dance thing hahahahhahaha he's zai. and dan's dancing in the SMU InDanCity's showcase so someone was saying if only Felix is doing an item too then it'll be like all 3 of our MAD's instructors all dancing for this dance festival hahaha it's quite cool.
it sort of felt more like an obligation than a want yesterday, going through all the mundane stuff of blocking rehearsing cleaning up, makeup etc, more for the j2s. and many j2s aren't there, like jiayi and sharon will always be there but this time they are not there. :( but at the end of it all (though it hasnt really ended) im actually quite glad i didnt pull out of it. well, you start with Journey, you end with Journey. one whole year, so much memories i dont know what to start feeling all nostalgic about. hope we do a good job tonight and tmr's :)
Wednesday, May 21, 2008!
HandWritten on; 12:22 AM
today was so. so. so SUPER torturous every lesson passed like an eternity. i cant remember much except looking at the clock, either wishing the second hand will tick faster or thinking what we were doing at that time a couple of days ago. I MISS SHAKE o8 very very very very very much. do you know the feeling of being in the classroom and thinking wth am i going to do after school now that there's no dance. the feeling you get in tutorials and lectures and thinking wth am i doing here. and the very sinking feeling you get when you look around and see no dancers around :( i mean, i LOVE my class. just that today its kinda hard to not feel irritated at every single thing i see which is un-dance related. i think im going insane. everything suddenly seemed so dull, so boring, so unimportant, so meaningless, so insignificant...
and after school i couldnt stand it any longer, went to look for sharon jiayi helen, meisiew and jiayuan came after that and we just studied together for a while. studying is not dancing, but at least its with the dancers, it helps alot to be together with people who share the same sentiments as you :D
then i just read jiayi's blog. and i was kinda enlightened, BUT okay maybe a few days more it will be better. YAY THERE IS ARTS FEST TMR, at least something to look forward to.
I REALLY REALLY LOVE MAD :)
!
HandWritten on; 12:22 AM
today was so. so. so SUPER torturous every lesson passed like an eternity. i cant remember much except looking at the clock, either wishing the second hand will tick faster or thinking what we were doing at that time a couple of days ago. I MISS SHAKE I MISS SHAKE very very very very much. the feeling sucks. the feeling of being in the classroom and thinking wth am i going to do after school now that there's no dance. the feeling you get in tutorials and lectures and thinking wth am i doing here. and the very sinking feeling you get when you look around and see no dancers around :( i mean, i LOVE my class. just that today its kinda hard to not feel irritated at every single thing i see which is un-dance related. i think im going insane. everything suddenly seemed so dull, so boring, so unimportant, so meaningless, so insignificant it sucks.
and after school i couldnt stand it any longer, went to look for sharon jiayi helen and studied together. studying is not dancing, but at least its with the dancers, it helps alot to be together with people who share the same sentiments as you :D
then i just read jiayi's blog. and i was kinda enlightened, BUT okay maybe a few days more it will be better. YAY THERE IS ARTS FEST TMR, at least something to look forward to.
I REALLY REALLY LOVE MAD :)
Monday, May 19, 2008!
HandWritten on; 1:58 PM
yesterday junyu messenged me and said, "welcome to my new sian world. where all committments have ended and it's back to pure mugging." THANKS AH JUNYU :(
i woke up today thinking of SHAKE! o8 and how much i want it back and i cant, and i feel very sad ): okay at least PEOPLE ENJOYED THE SHOW and many said it was better than last year's. i thought last year was already imba. so hearing that was like woahhhhh so shake was even more imba. nice :) at least we didnt leave hc with a *-up dance night like what nicholas said last week if we didnt improve our standard. i think dance is very amazing, the feeling you get when you stand on stage, looking at the audience below all watching the dance, how the audience all look very black and dark haha, how you can see flashes of light here and there due to the cameras and videocams. how you perform, dance your heart out :) and during the whole two hours of the show, its very cool how time flies past like it didnt even feel like anything. I MISS SHAKE! o8 ):
after 17th a bunch of us went heather's house. took forever to shower cause there were so many people and we just talked till like 5am, at least spent time with the dancers after Shake! instead of going home. the reality that shake's over didnt really hit me until yesterday morning when we gathered around heather's laptop to see the dance videos which some already uploaded onto youtube. it feels so weird so super weird to look at the dance from another point of view, another perspective, and look at yourself on stage and think: yesterday night (a few hours ago) i was THERE. and it just hit me that its all over. the feeling of wanting to do it all over again, to stand on the stage and jump/move/travel again is overwhelming perhaps. sigh. okay to console myself i kept saying AT LEAST IT WAS GOOD, it made an IMPACT. i hope the audience will always remember SHAKE! hc dance night o8 and let it be a legacy :)
WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS. i think it's always there after a production. especially a production of something you really love and you worked hard for. will miss ticketing too, the many mornings when i have to wake up early to go to school early for ticketing meeting/pack tickets/sort out stuff. and very happy got to know minzhi and evelyn cause of it, many thanks to minzhi for being such a responsible (and sometimes retarded) ticketing ic. :D
I LOVE THE DANCERS because they are all beautiful people and im glad each and every single one of us share the same love for dance. and i'm really thankful for j2s i think we're an incredible batch of very nice people HAHAHA and this doesnt only apply to the moderners, its just the whole entire MAD j2s o8 it had been a good one year plus together ever since Mosaic and we know all of us gave our very best to SHAKE! our last hc dance night:( its like the feeling of knowing its all gonna be over but still giving our best to it cause we want it to be good but still dreading the two nights to come cause we dont want it to be over so fast... and the need to make it memorable. its a very complicated feeling haha. and the memories together of the past one year of retarded times together hahahah are very very priceless. :)
thanks to everyone who came, thanks to everyone who said they really enjoyed the show and that shake was really good. and thanks mr raj for that very pretty rose which is now in full bloom, all of us never would have expected it and to think you were sick on saturday but still came to support THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH.
thank god there's no school today. and now i gotta spend some time sorting out what my life would be without dance.........
our last dance night in hwachong, it feels so surreal. still remember how Mosaic 08 was like last year, femme and syf hahah, the seniors and everything. when we were the juniors. how fast time flies, this year we turn seniors and became busier with alot of stuff. this whole week has been dance and sleep and it feels GOOD even though i am lagging tutorials like mad. well, mad MAD :) and i only reached school on time once this whole week hahaha. and i reach home at 11plus 12 AM every single day. and i frigging stupidly fell down on monday outside salt centre so i have an injured knee now ): which is getting better (hopefully) thanks to audrey's heart-shaped antiseptic cream and op-site plasters for grazes, stitches and cuts hahaha. and i had to find a different way to backroll during dan's dance. but its all gonna be worth it :D
our tickets are all sold out, at a rather incredible speed so its good to see how supportive our friends/classmates are of us. and we opened wed rehearsal, which was ....... , tmr and sat gonna be wayyyyyyyyyyy better. its nice to be still dancing with the same dear people i've been dancing with the past ..4/5 years hahahahaha times like this make me feel grateful for IP. OKAY very out of point-.- yay dancers ALLL THE WAYYYY FOR DANCE NIGHT TMR AND SATURDAY WE GONNA ROCK (or rather, SHAKE) THE STAGE! :D
like what audrey said on her blog, ...6 years. end in just two days. dance <3
